Gouda's Cheesewheel

The Proposal

So I promised to explain the engagement thing. Basically it came down to a couple of factors: as joint homeowners and domestic partners, it made sense to have some legal and official "stuff" in place, such as power of attorney, or documents stating our relationship for hospital visitation, health insurance, etc. Since Colorado is a common-law state, claiming such a relationship would potentially make us legally married, unless we drew up ANOTHER legal document stating otherwise. So frankly, it was easier to get married. Also, I had promised myself I would wait till Kristin and Jenn's weddings were out of the way to decide my own plans on the matter, so that I was sure I wasn't just caught up in the frenzie of wedding planning. With the last wedding out of the way for about a month, I felt comfortable to make an impartial decision.

Mainly, though, the final decision to go ahead and propose came when I found what I thought would be the perfect location. I spotted it in a Haunt outing on Monday the 12th, and by Wednesday I was comfortable enough with the idea to purchase Brent an engagement gift. I planned the proposal for the following Tuesday or Wednesday, since Thursday would begin an 11-day stretch at City of the Dead with no days off, and by the time that ended my proposal location would be closed for the season. As far as how things actually went, I will quote my explanation from an email to Jenn and Adam:

"Yes, Hell has frozen over and Brent and I are engaged. Naturally, I had to do the honor of proposing, since I was the one who was hesitant about the whole idea in the first place, and had thus confused Brent to the point he wouldn't have been sure of my answer otherwise.

It was actually a surprise. I wanted to do it before the end of October so I could take him to a haunted house, one of our favorite common activities. We'd agreed to do something fun Tuesday night, since he'd had a bad day Monday. I took him to Primitive Fear and 13th Street Manor. My original plan was to propose in the VIP tent, but it was raining and cold and we didn't feel like hanging out there, plus I hadn't finished writing out what I wanted to say. So we stopped to get some pasta and wine for dinner. I cooked while Brent showered, then we watched Dance of the Dead (cheesy zombie prom movie) and had a nice dinner. After the movie ended I put on Rockie Horror Picture Show and fast-forwarded to the scene when Brad proposes to Janet. While the scene was playing, Brent read the card I'd written out my proposal on, and when he got to the end he asked "are you serious?" at which point I pulled out the ring I'd bought him. I admitted that it wasn't much, but then I pulled out the matching dagger to go with it, and knelt down to offer it to him. He was tickled and told me "yes!" and of course there was much rejoicing. So even though it didn't go exactly as planned it worked out to be more romantic that way."

So there you have it.

We haven't set a date yet, though Brent finds the idea of getting married on the 13th fun. March and November are two potentials, since the 13th falls on a Saturday. However, one idea we have is to do a private civil ceremony and then a separate reception for friends and family, in which case our actual wedding could take place just about whenever we want. We plan to sit down with our parents on Saturday and figure out details like who we need to invite, who is willing to contribute financially or otherwise, and what our options are time- and location-wise. After we get some basic details out of the way we can start some real planning for a change...although I have to admit I've already been doing a great deal of research.

I also bought myself a copy of this book in the hopes it would keep me sane during this process, and remind me that a great wedding doesn't require a $1000 dress or bridesmaids. I really enjoy the author's website, and highly recommend it for any bride, but particularly those looking to do something different.

posted by Greta @ 11:36 AM